10 Things You Should Never Say To a Grieving Pet Parent (and What To Say Instead)

Losing a pet is one of the most heartbreaking experiences a person can go through. For many of us, our soul pet is more than just an animal—they're family, a source of unconditional love, and a best friend through life’s ups and downs. When someone loses a furry companion, the grief can be deep and overwhelming. Yet, despite good intentions, people often struggle to find the right words of comfort. Sometimes, what’s meant to be helpful can unintentionally cause more pain.

If you have a friend or loved one grieving the loss of their pet, here are ten things you should avoid saying—and some compassionate alternatives to offer instead.

1. “It was just a dog/cat/rabbit/hamster”

This phrase can be incredibly hurtful. To a grieving pet parent, their animal was a beloved part of their life. Dismissing their loss only adds to their pain.

What to say instead: “I know how much [pet’s name] meant to you. I’m so sorry for your loss.”

2. “You can always get another one.”

While it’s true that another pet may one day bring joy, no animal can replace the one they’ve lost. Grief isn’t about finding a replacement pet—it’s about mourning a unique and irreplaceable bond.

What to say instead: “I know nothing can replace [pet’s name], but I’m here for you if you ever want to talk or share memories.”

3. “At least they had a good life.”

While likely true, this phrase can feel dismissive. It can come across as if the pet parent shouldn’t feel so sad because their pet had a good life.

What to say instead: “I can tell how much [pet’s name] was loved. They were so lucky to have you.”

4. “They’re in a better place now.”

Even if well-intended, this statement assumes a belief system that the grieving person may not share. It can also feel like their pain is being brushed aside.

What to say instead: “I know this must be so hard for you. I’m here for you and would love to listen.”

5. “It was their time.”

While logical, this phrase doesn’t bring much comfort. Grief doesn’t always respond to reason, and loss often feels unfair, no matter the circumstances.

What to say instead: “Losing them is so hard. It’s never enough time with them, is it?”

6. “I know exactly how you feel.”

Even if you’ve experienced pet loss yourself, everyone grieves differently. Instead of assuming their emotions mirror yours, offer space for them to share their unique feelings.

What to say instead: “I can’t imagine how much you’re hurting, and I’m here to listen anytime you need me.”

7. “Be strong.”

Grieving pet parents don’t need to hear that they should suppress their emotions. They need permission to feel and process their grief in their own time.

What to say instead: “It’s okay to be sad. Take all the time you need.”

8. “Are you still upset about that? You need to get over it.”

Grief doesn’t have a deadline. Comments like this are incredibly insensitive and can make a grieving pet parent feel like their emotions are invalid or that something is wrong with them.

What to say instead: “I know grief doesn’t just go away. And that it’s a process that takes time. How are you holding up? I’m here if you need to talk.”

9. “Try to focus on the good times.”

While memories are important, grief isn’t something that can simply be shifted away from. Sometimes, people just need to sit with their sadness before they’re ready to reflect on the happy moments.

What to say instead: “Whenever you want to share a favorite memory of [pet’s name], I’d love to hear it.”

10. Saying nothing at all.

Silence can sometimes be more painful than saying the wrong thing. Avoiding the topic altogether can make a grieving pet parent feel even more alone in their pain.

What to do instead: A simple, heartfelt acknowledgment like “I’m so sorry for your loss” or “Is there anything I can do? Can I bring you some dinner?” can mean the world. Sometimes, just being there is enough.

Supporting a Grieving Pet Parent

Grief is a deeply personal journey, and there’s no perfect way to ease someone’s pain. What matters most is offering genuine support, kindness, and understanding. A simple check-in, a warm hug, bringing them some food, or even just sitting with them and holding their hand can be incredibly comforting.